Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Im part way to drunk.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
