dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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