'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
