I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
