so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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