Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
