The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
