Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
