Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize