i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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