nut hugger
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
