can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
