Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
