nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
