The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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