I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
