I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
