Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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