Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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