put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
