Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
