I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she told me i tasted like america
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
