I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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