You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
