It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
