I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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