dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
