I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize