I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
