and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
