I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
