the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
