I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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