Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
