It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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