R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
