It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
