somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize