is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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