OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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