I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
