I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
