I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
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