he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
