I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Alive.
So much puke
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
