I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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