She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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