they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
accomplished twins. life is a go
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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