Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Drake has all the answers
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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