He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize