all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
