Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
