dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
