it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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