Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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