In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
