Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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