oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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