I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
