you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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