love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
