Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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