you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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