Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
