theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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