i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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