So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
