Whatcha textin bout Willis?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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