Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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